THIS IS
THIS IS “THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH” EFFIZODE 12!!!

This is Mike Matthews getting on the bus and heading to this week’s THE LAST
PLACE ON EARTH where we find out where you need to move to, like,
yesterday. Plus we find out the number one way this time of year to save
money. And we talk about the magic that is James Franco.

Plus we hear new music from Fuji Kureta, Pierlo, Nobody’s Bizness, and Atlas
Sound!

The leftovers are almost gone so enjoy this new half hour show from THE LAST
PLACE ON EARTH! It’s SHOW NUMBER 12!!!

So it’s that time of the year when we either don’t look in the mirror or we
decide to take the bull by the horns and try to take away the fat. This can
be done by watching what we eat, exercising, or just completely avoiding
eggnog.

Oh you, eggnog! Putting on pounds just from the most simple sip. The most
simple pouring of you in my coffee. Even your “lite” version is a hazard!
Dang you, eggnog!

This is the time of year that really puts some people in a pickle. All the
stress of getting everyone presents. All the stress of planning massive
family gatherings. We are forced to do this, forced to do that.

I’m noticing a lot of people getting off that merry go round. The really
clever ones get themselves invited to other people’s gatherings. I don’t
know how they do that. Maybe they just hang around long enough till some
one goes, “Hey, what are you doing this Christmas? Want to come over?”

Remember, the answer to this is ALWAYS, “Sure! What can I bring?”

Get the stress out of the holiday season! Realize that one of the reasons
this is a special time of year is because you see people that you probably
won’t see the rest of the year and you’re going to miss them (that is, the
one’s you actually like). Avoid traffic times as best you can, shop
intelligently, don’t buy just whatever the TV’s telling you to buy, and PUT
DOWN THE EGGNOG. Yes, even if it has brandy in it.

Oh, and put on a Santa hat at least once. This is MANDATORY! Putting one
of those goofy creations on always gets you in the mood.

Or the brim causes you to sneeze endlessly. Either way, it’s a hoot!

Oh, one more thing about this past Thanksgiving. Did you happen to see that
Taylor Swift special? Every year the country music flavor of the month gets
their own show which is watched by all those people stuffed with turkey who
can’t move from the couch and who can’t find any more football to watch. I
remember Shania Twain one year. This year was Taylor. She’s got the big
lips, squinty eyes, blonde hair thing going. The one thing I enjoyed about
the show was that they had a bunch of young people talk about how they
appreciated Taylor’s lyrics. Not her singing, not her stage performance,
but the words she actually wrote down. I love that kids are into that
artistic side of popular music these days. It gives me hope. Also a bit of
a rash.

With that incite, shouldn’t I have hosted my own morning show? You know, I
had the opportunity in Alabama, but I went with the 3pm to 7pm shift. In
hindsight, I would have had less of a chance of getting canned had I been on
in the morning AND been there all day running the station. Instead we
brought in some L.A. ego to do mornings who demanded way too much money and
who didn’t even last 6 months (and who hardly worked, had his underpaid
assistant do everything)!

Listen to the latest “effizode” of THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH by clicking
here…

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1881963/THE%20LAST%20PLACE%20ON%20EARTH%20show%2011.mp3

And of course you can also subscribe on iTunes.  I’ve got 15 subscribers now!  Yippeee!  The link is http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-last-place-on-earth-podcast/id396038020

Thank you and check back here for more blog but no nog!

SHOW NUMBER 11 OF
SHOW NUMBER 11 OF “THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH!”

Hello, this is Mike Matthews, about to board the bus to go to the Last Place
on Earth.

This week, we find out what women are learning to do that before only men
could do. We hear about what Millennials are doing to get revenge on the
The New York Times Magazine. And we tell you what you need to know about
the second to the last Harry Potter movie before you spend your hard-earned
money on it.

Plus we hear music from Gepel, Hannah Georgas, Kriss, and Jake Blanton.

Ride with me to the perfect half-hour show to listen to right at this exact
moment…THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH!

I’m watching two boxers…no I’m not watching some fight on ESPN, I’m
watching my boxer, Basil, and my brother-in-law’s boxer, Layla. She’s what
they call a “fawn” color. She “fawns” all over Basil. As I write this,
however, they are both sleeping away. My typing only mildly awakens them.

So I don’t get why I’m my birthday is Monday. It seems like yesterday I was
dreading going into my 40’s. Now I’ll be 2 years into it. I guess age
means nothing and you’re only as old as you feel. I feel pretty good so
that’s a great birthday present there.

I am a little worried about the airports though. I’ll be the first to say
we need to take every precaution to keep the terrorists off our airlines,
but this radiation situation with the “back spatter” machines

WE NOW ARE IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS!
WE NOW ARE IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS! “THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH” PODCAST
“EFFIZODE” NUMBER 10!

Scientists for years have run the figures on what happens if you keep
pumping carbon monoxide into the atmosphere. They take into account ALL the
green house gasses in the world, not just from the United States. Other
countries are belching up poisons ten times worse than us. Logically,
doesn’t it seem with all this cee oh one being produced by the human
race (and our planet isn’t getting any bigger and those gasses have no way
of escaping out to the stars) we might be on a road to destruction?

Oh, but we can’t worry about that now, because our economy’s in the
crapper! Got to take care of that first. Got to keep drilling. Got
to keep pumping that gas into my SUV. Got to keep laughing at alternative
forms of energy because, ooooo, that’s just hippy hooey!

Seriously, the only reason why Republican and conservative talk show hosts
and politicians rail against “climate change” is because it messes with
people’s money. It’s like taxes. You’re taking money out of my pocket to
solve this problem. You’re interfering with my way of life…and that just
unAmerican! You would think that the potential to MAKE MONEY would appeal
to those who strongly identify with this party, and there is so much money
to be made in new ways of producing energy.

Out of the 100 new Republican politicians heading to congress, only half
believe climate change is real. How did we become the greatest nation on
earth with politicians not believing what our scientists are saying? You
may have heard that scientists have had enough. They are FINALLY going to
move together en masse to speak out about the defiant ignorance of so many
Americans today. We really should listen, and tell those friends and family
members who continue to live in the clouds to open their eyes and ears.
Yes, we want to be a competitive nation. No, we don’t want to put chains on
the companies that got us to the top, but we can’t deny the scientists that
put us there either. So get ready for a congress with politicians carrying
torches chasing after those who say the “world is round.” More importantly,
get ready for the scientists to fight back!

On a different note, Castro Valley, where I call home, is having an
interesting debate over a sign that was banished in 1997 by a group of over
800 people who didn’t like the way it looked. The sign cost the city
100,000 dollars and is sitting in storage. Why not use the sign? Who cares
what 800 people thought over 10 years ago? Tastes change. The town paid
for it. It should be used. And of the 800 people still around, they don’t
have to see it because we’ll put it on one of the less traveled streets.
This works out because there’s a canoe in the sign (in reference to a local
Native American tribe) and one of the less traveled streets is right next to
our main lake. Personally, I don’t see what the problem is. Then again,
I’ve only lived here a year.

So these two issues, one about affecting the environment with gas and the
other with ugly art, are what we talk about in this week’s podcast. Okay,
no, not really. In fact, I think we maybe talk about both for a half a
second each. But the podcast is still worth listening to. Funny stuff and
cool music. Really! Just pop that sucker in your ipod or mp3 player or
just click below this sentence to hear it now!

http://ping.fm/8J887

Oh, and here are the lyrics to the song you’re about to hear…
So it looks like that Glenn Beck
Is anti-semitic
ON THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH
It’s one white protestant box
of white men over at FOX
ON THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH
and thanks to do them Tea Partiers got in office
that means people who think Obama is a novice
are in power though most of them are rookies
it’s almost enough to make you lose your cookies
When you’re with the Flinstones
They’re a modern stone-age family
The party thinks like ancient cave men
Has the rest of praying AMEN…

To subscribe to the podcast on iTunes go to
http://ping.fm/8uSyl

WHAT A ROCKIN’ SATURDAY NIGHT! YYYYYYYYYYYYEAH!

What do you get when you have some good friends come over and you turn on your “Rockband” video game? Usually a great time albeit a slightly competitive game-playing atmosphere.

Not the case here. This was a party! Thrown by my friends Steve and Terri who have long been fans of the home video game “Rockband” and who are expert players, this event was held in the community center at their condo complex and it had awesome acoustics! They brought in two home-made movie screens, two projectors, a self-made platform for the drummer, and all the necessary Rockband instruments. Oh, and they invited a bunch of their friends who, it turns out. love to ROCK! Three microphones on stands were in constant use throughout the evening.

The name “Rockband Party” almost sounds like a promotional event for the product, yet no one was getting any money from Sony. This was a bunch of people just enjoying a fun toy and taking it to a level of use that Sony probably never considered.

I got my feet wet with The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” That’s fun to perform because it gives you the sensation you’re rocking a stadium. We then ran through a bunch of Classic Rock fare till younger people arrived and we proceeded on from the 90’s to the present.

If you decide to throw your own Rockband or Guitar Hero party, remember that most people when they arrive will be “in their shells” and feeling too shy to perform. Alcohol, of course, gets some people going, but one of the biggest motivators is watching others perform. “If they can do it I can do it!”

One of the objects of the game is not to play so badly that your band gets booed off the stage.  Well, with a party that consists of so many different levels of expertise, it’s best to do what Steve did and set the game to “no fail” so you can play so badly and never stop the game.  Of course, the game will drop all drums from the audio mix if the drummer is not playing right.  This happens with any of the other instruments so you might end up with a song that doesn’t quite sound like the original.

My wife and I both played, though she doesn’t like singing.  She does a great job on bass or guitar, however, and in the next photo you see her on the far left wearing a Boston concert shirt I bought back in 1986 on their “Third Stage” tour.  It was my first concert.

By the end of the evening everybody was singing!  All ages, all generations, all genders, all everyone! 
Mike Matthews hosts a podcast called THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH and writes a blog that can be found at MikeTalks.blog.com

HERE'S A NEW PODCAST OF
HERE’S A NEW PODCAST OF “THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH!” WE’RE UP TO EFFIZODE 9!
RING THE BELLS! RING THOSE GLORIOUS LOUD-AS-THUNDER
WAKE-ME-UP-MUCH-TOO-EARLY-ON-A-SUNDAY BELLS!

Well, THAT was a week! Wasn’t it?

As one who follows the political shows and podcasts, I see we as a country
are more interested in that guy from Chili who’s running in the NY marathon
than we are with the weird things happening politically.

But, you gotta admit, he trained by running 6 miles a day in a collapsed
mine! How frickin’ crazy is that? The guy’s a god!

In this “effizode” we try to analyze not the politics of this week but the
general *ennui. *Do I mean *ennui *or do I mean *ouvre*? Do *I really give
a crap? *Maybe what I mean is I saw my local community college was having
an “open house” so I showed up and was asked if *I was with the press? *How
could I be with the press when I’ve only just now *discovered the italics
button?* I went to find out info about the courses they have there. I
stayed and ended up having some fantastic sage cheese. You know, the
greenish kind? Oh, and they had these little bite size cheese cakes and
cobblers! Doesn’t that rock?!? Thank you, Chabot community college, for
your free *orderves.* Too bad your education isn’t free (but believe me,
compared to most colleges, they practically are).

Listen to “effizode” 9 by clicking here…

http://ping.fm/S6YA4

Of course you can also subscribe through eye-toons by going here
http://ping.fm/os4s4

I just noticed my boxer Basil doesn’t show up at all in this week’s podcast
so on the count of three let’s all bark in recognition of my awesome dog!

One, two, three…Woof!

Very good, now you know the sound I made when I found out Million-Dollar-Meg
didn’t become our next governor.

Wooooo!