817 The News Show

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Today we look at some interesting recent news stories on the much-loved segment MATTHEWS NEWS, plus we’ll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley! And an Apple Car? Will it be overpriced and suck? We’ll find out.

The new Rolling Stone is out and it has to do with Saturday Night Live cast members. Apparently there have been 141 in all. The magazine claims to rank them all. So that you don’t spend the seven bucks or whatever it costs for this rag, I’ll sum up how they do their summing up: if they’re not John Belushi, they suck. There you go. I tried to read about some of the more obscure cast members and all it yelled at me was, "THEY’RE NOT IMPORTANT! THEY NEVER DID A MAJOR MOVIE! WE’RE WRITTEN BY HIPSTERS WHO REEK OF POT."

Next show I’ll be speaking to a BEAUTIFUL NEW COUNTRY ARTIST on the segment INTO AN INTERVIEW! Her name is MORGAN RILEY! Plus we’ll hear from Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, but Rolling Stone doesn’t care about us because our name isn’t Marc Maron.

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